Why would you drink an energy shot, really? They taste like ass, they’re goopy and they come with something of a promise to make you feel uncomfortable.
- Neat little bottles – You know you want to put a whole load of them on like, a bullet belt. No? Well I do, so get bent.
- It is cold outside – You don’t want your hands to get cold carrying a refrigerated can that will take time to drink, as you have to wear fingerless gloves in these winter months so you can still use your capacitive touchscreen devices. You young’uns and your newfangled technology.
- You are actually too goddamn lazy to drink a full can of Red Bull.
It’s fairly obvious that Red Bull feels (as far as a carbonated drink CAN feel) threatened by Relentless. Relentless made big cans, Red Bull made big cans. Relentless made shots, now Red Bull have made one. And, unlike the Relentless shot, it doesn’t taste *entirely* like the end of your digestive tract; it just tastes like a can of the regular stuff has been left out overnight to go flat and has gone a little bit “I am a tramp and I go around drinking the remaining swill of other people’s drinks at seedy bars”. You can neck it with no particular aftertaste and just get on with things. The worst part of the experience is probably looking down into the clear-bottomed bottle and willing yourself to pour the suspiciously coloured liquid down your gullet whilst thinking “urine sample, urine sample, urine sample.” Unless you like that kind of thing.
Stop looking at me like that.
Anyway, this is the better out of the two (and only two) that I’ve tried, simply because it doesn’t taste like it costs less than Best In “Stimulation Drink”, which I’m not going to review other than to say “Only if you are poor, a student, self loathing, or otherwise REALLY desperate”. (Pansy. I will, it’s not that bad as long as you pretend that the alternative is scabies or bubonic plague or something — Dave)
I think though that winning in the energy shot stakes is a bit like winning an argument on the internet. If you really need caffeine that quickly, there are better ways of doing it (see Jolt Gum) as it really didn’t hit me that hard, and it could have been a LOT cheaper.
I didn’t die on the way to work though. I never cease to count my blessings.