Rejected by Crimewatch. Well known to methadone clinics.

Matt Carroll has joined us to provide a yet higher density of caffeinated delight.  He hails from Cheltenham, where his hobbies include shouting at lampposts, eating kebabs and drawing Spider Jerusalem glasses on his face with highlighter pens.

He owns a crossbow and his girlfriend will still not let him use it for pest control purposes.

Despite what the picture shows, he is not in fact twelve years old.

He’s our kind of guy.